Since adolescence I have wondered why so many people take
pleasure in humiliating others. Clearly the fact that some are
sensitive to the suffering of others proves that the destructive
urge to hurt is not a universal aspect of human nature. So why do
some tend to solve their problems by violence while others don't?
Philosophy failed to answer my question and the Freudian theory
of the death instinct has never convinced me. Nor could I make
sense of genetic explanations of the evil, of the naive idea that
a human being can be "born bad." Nobody could answer the
crucial question: How is it that so many turn-of-the-century
German children were born with such malignant genes that they'd
later become Hitler's willing executioners? It has always been
inconceivable to me that a child who comes into the world among
attentive, loving and protective caregivers could become a
monster. Then, by closely examining the childhood histories of
murderers, especially mass murderers and dictators, I began to
comprehend the roots of good and evil: not in the genes, as
commonly believed, but in the earliest days of life. Today,
neurobiological research seems to fully corroborate what I
discovered almost twenty years ago.
At that time I quoted in For Your Own Good at length the
pedagogical advice given to parents in Germany a century ago, and
detailed what I believed to be a connection between the systematic
cruelty of these methods and the systematic cruelty of Hitler's
executioners forty years later. The numerous and widely-read
tracts by Dr. Daniel Gottlieb Schreber, the inventor of the
Schrebergärten (the German word for "small
allotments"), are of major interest here. Some of his books
ran to as many as forty editions around the year 1860, and their
central concern was to instruct parents in the systematic
upbringing of infants from the very first day of life. Many people
- motivated by what they thought to be the best of intentions
complied with the advice given them by Schreber and other authors
about how best to raise their children. Today we would call it a
systematic instruction in child persecution and maltreatment. One
of Schreber's convictions was that when babies cry they should be
made to desist by the use of spanking, assuring his readers that
"such a procedure is only necessary once, or at the most
twice, and then one is master of the child for all time. From then
on, one look, one single gesture will suffice". Above all,
these books counseled that the newborn child should be forced from
the very first day to obey and to refrain from crying.
We all know - or, today, we should all know - that physical
punishment only produces obedient children but cannot prevent them
from becoming violent or sick adults precisely because of this
treatment. This knowledge is now scientifically proven and was
finally officially accepted by the American Academy of Pediatrics
in 1998. Contrary to common opinion prevalent as recently as
fifteen years ago, the human brain at birth is far from being
fully developed. It is use-dependent, needing loving stimulation
for the child from her first day on. The abilities a person's
brain can develop depend on experiences in the first three years
of life.
Studies on abandoned and severely maltreated Romanian children,
as an example, revealed striking lesions in certain areas of the
brain. The repeated traumatization has led to an increased release
of stress hormones which have attacked the sensitive tissue of the
brain and destroyed the new, already built-up neurons. The areas
of their brains responsible for the "management" of
their emotions are twenty to thirty percent smaller than in other
children of the same age. Obviously, all children (not only
Romanian) who suffer such abandonment and maltreatment will be
damaged in this way.
The neurobiological research makes it easier for us to
understand the way Nazis like Eichmann, Himmler, Hess and others
functioned. The rigorous obedience training they underwent in
earliest infancy stunted the development of such human capacities
as compassion and pity for the sufferings of others. Their total
emotional atrophy enabled the perpetrators of the most heinous
crimes imaginable to function "normally" and to continue
without the slightest remorse to impress their environment with
their efficiency in the years after the war. Dr. Mengele could
make the most cruel experiments with Jewish children in Auschwitz
and then live for thirty years like a "normal," well
adjusted man.
Those turn-of-the-century children who were "subjugated by
looks" and systematically subjected to obedience drilling
were not only exposed to corporal correction but also to severe
emotional deprivation. The upbringing manuals of the day described
physical demonstrations of affection such as stroking, cuddling
and kissing as indications of a doting, mollycoddling attitude.
Parents were warned of the disastrous effects of spoiling their
children, a form of indulgence entirely incompatible with the
prevalent ideal of rigor and severity. As a result, infants
suffered from the absence of direct loving contact with the
parents, which also caused certain areas of the brain to remain
underdeveloped.
I found it logical that a child beaten often and deprived of
loving physical contact would quickly pick up the language of
violence. For him this language became the only effective means of
communication available. However, when I began to illustrate my
thesis by drawing on the examples of Hitler, Stalin, Mao,
Ceaucescu, when I tried to expose the social consequences of child
maltreatment, I first encountered strong resistance. Repeatedly I
was told, "I, too, was a battered child, but that didn't make
me a criminal." When I asked these people for details about
their childhood, I was always told of a person who made the
difference, a sibling, a teacher, a neighbor, just somebody who
liked or even loved them but, at least in most cases, was unable
to protect them. Yet through his presence this person gave the
child a notion of trust and love.
I call these persons "helping witnesses."
Dostoyevsky, for instance, had a brutal father, but a loving
mother. She wasn't strong enough to protect him from his father,
but she gave him a powerful conception of love, without which his
novels would have been unthinkable. Many have also been lucky
enough to find "enlightened" and courageous witnesses,
people who helped them to recognize the injustices they suffered,
the significance the hurtful treatment had for them, and its
influences on their whole life. They may even suffer much in their
life, may become drug addicted, and have relationship problems,
but thanks to the few good experiences in their childhood usually
do not become criminals. The criminal outcome seems to be
connected with a childhood that didn't provide any helping
witness, that was a place of constant threat and fear.
In my book The Untouched Key I mention the severe trauma
that the child Pablo Picasso underwent at the age of three: the
earthquake in Malaga in 1884, the flight from the family's
apartment into a cave that seemed to be more safe, and eventually
witnessing the birth of his sister in the same cave under these
very scary circumstances. However, Picasso survived these traumas
without later becoming psychotic or criminal because he was
protected by his very loving parents. They were able to give him
what he most needed in this chaotic situation: empathy,
compassion, protection and the feeling of being safe in their
arms.
Thanks to the presence of his parents, the two enlightened
witnesses of his fear and pain, not only during the earthquake but
also throughout his whole childhood, he was later able to express
his early, frightening experiences in a creative way. In Picasso's
famous painting "Guernica" we can see what might have
happened in the mind of the three-year-old child while he was
watching the dying people and horses and listening to the children
screaming for help on the long walk to the shelter. Small children
can go unscared even through bomb-raids if they feel safe in the
arms of their parents.
It is much more difficult for a child to overcome early
traumatization if they are caused by their own parents. In my book
Thou Shalt Not Be Aware, which has now come out in a new
edition, I analyze the childhood of the writer Franz Kafka. I try
to show that the nightmares he describes in his stories recount
exactly what might have happened to the small, severely neglected
infant Kafka. He was born into a family in which he must have felt
like the hero of "The Castle" (ordered about but not
needed and constantly misled) or like K. in "The Trial"
(charged with incomprehensible guilt) or like "The Hunger
Artist" who never found the food he was so strongly longing
for. Thanks to the love and the deep comprehension of his sister
Otla in his puberty, his late "helping witness," Kafka
could eventually give expression to his suffering in writing. Does
it mean that he therefore overcame his traumatic childhood? He
could indeed write his work, full of knowledge and wisdom, but why
did he die so early - in his thirties - of tuberculosis? It
happened in a time when he knew many people who loved and admired
him. However, these good experiences could not erase the
unconscious emotions and memories stored in his body.
Kafka was hardly aware of the fact that the main sources of his
imagination were deeply hidden in his early childhood. Most
writers aren't. But the amnesia of an artist or writer, though
sometimes a burden for their body, doesn't have any negative
consequences for society. The readers simply admire the work and
are rarely interested in the writers' infancy . However, the
amnesia of politicians or leaders of sects does afflict countless
people, and will continue to do so, as long as society remains
blind to the important connections between the denial of traumatic
experiences in early childhood and the destructive, criminal
actions of individuals.
Anyone addressing the problem of child abuse is likely to be
faced with a very strange finding: it has been observed again and
again that parents who tend to maltreat and neglect their children
do it in ways which resemble the treatment they endured in their
own childhood, without any conscious memory of their early
experiences. Fathers who sexually abuse their children are usually
unaware of the fact that they had themselves suffered the same
abuse. It is rather in therapy, even if ordered by the courts,
that they can discover, sometimes stupefied, their own history.
And realize thereby that for years they have attempted to act out
their own scenario, just to get rid of it.
The explanation of this fact is that information about the
cruelty suffered during childhood remains stored in the brain in
the form of unconscious memories. For a child, conscious
experience of such treatment is impossible. If children are not to
break down completely under the pain and the fear, they must
repress that knowledge. But the unconscious memories of the child
who has been neglected and maltreated, even before he has learned
to speak, drive the adult to reproduce those repressed scenes over
and over again in the attempt to liberate himself from the fears
that cruelty has left with him. Former victims create situations
in which they can assume the active role. In this way the emotion
of fear can indeed be avoided momentarily - but not in the long
term, because the repressed emotions of the past don't change as
long as they remain unnoticed. They can only be transformed into
hatred directed towards oneself and/or scapegoats, such as one's
own children or alleged enemies. I see this hatred as a possible
consequence of the old rage and despair, never consciously felt,
but stored up in the body, in the limbic brain.
The German reformer Martin Luther, for example, was an
intelligent and educated man, but he hated all Jews and he
encouraged parents to beat their children. He was no perverted
sadist like Hitler's executioners. But 400 years before Hitler he
was disseminating this kind of destructive counsel. According to
Eric Ericson's biography, Luther's mother beat him severely even
before he was treated this way by his father and his teacher. He
believed this punishment had "done him good" and was
therefore justified. The conviction stored in his body that if
parents do it then it must be right to torment someone weaker than
yourself left a much more lasting impression on him than the
divine commandments and the Christian exhortations to love your
neighbor and be compassionate toward the weak.
Similar cases are discussed by Philip Greven in his highly
informative book Spare the Child. He quotes various
American men and women of the church recommending cruel beatings
for babies and infants in the first few months of life as a way of
ensuring that the lesson thus learnt remains impressed on them for
the rest of their life. Unfortunately they were only too right.
These terrible, destructive texts which have misled so many
parents are the conclusive proof of the long-lasting effect of
beating. They could only have been written by people who were
exposed to merciless beatings as children and later glorified what
they had been through. Their cruel beliefs could only grow up in
the darkness of their own cruel and repressed infancy.
Fortunately, these books were not published in forty editions in
the USA.
As the example of Luther shows, nothing that a child learns
later about morality at home, in school or in church will ever
have the same strong and long lasting effect as the treatment
inflicted on his or her body in the first few days, weeks and
months. The lesson learned in the first three years cannot be
expunged. If the body of a child learns from birth that tormenting
and punishing an innocent creature is the right thing to do, and
that the child's suffering must not be acknowledged, that message
will always be stronger than intellectual knowledge acquired at a
later stage. Greven's examples eloquently demonstrate that people
subjected to maltreatment in childhood may go on insisting all
their lives that beatings are harmless although there is
overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Can a person who still
supports corporal punishment of children be considered as somebody
who has overcome his or her abuse? He may still remain a blind
victim who refuses to face his history and to work on it. Instead
he will give destructive advice until his death and continue to
ignore the child's pain, because his view of reality is severely
distorted by early unconscious experience. On the other hand, a
child protected, loved and cherished from the outset will thrive
on that experience for a lifetime and develop empathy for others.
It is interesting that almost all rescuers of Jews during the
Holocaust who were interviewed reported that their parents had
attempted to discipline them with arguments and support rather
than punishment. They were not beaten. People given early
affection and support are quick to emulate the sympathetic and
autonomous natures of their parents. Common to all the rescuers
were self-confidence, the ability to make immediate decisions and
the capacity for empathy and compassion with others. Seventy per
cent of them said that it only took them a matter of minutes to
decide they wanted to intervene. Eighty percent said they did not
consult anyone else.
This attitude, prized in all cultures as "noble," is
not something instilled in children with fine words. If the
behavior actually displayed by caretakers is such as to contradict
their own words, if children are spanked in the name of lofty
ideals, as is still the custom in some parochial schools, then
those elevated sentiments are doomed to go unheard or even to
provoke rage and violence. The children may end up aping those
high-minded phrases and mouthing them in later life, but they will
never put them into practice because they have no example to
emulate.
In my most recent book, Paths of Life, I try to
illustrate this dynamic by describing Hitler's childhood, a
childhood that offers us many still untouched keys. Hitler's
specific problems with Jews can in fact be traced back to the
period before his birth. In her youth, Hitler's paternal
grandmother had been employed in a Jewish merchant's household in
Graz. After her return home to the Austrian village of Braunau,
she gave birth to a son - Alois, later to become Hitler's father -
and received child-support payments from the family in Graz for
fourteen years. This story, which is recounted in many biographies
of Hitler, represented a dilemma for the Hitler family. They had
of course an interest in denying that the young woman had been
left with a child either by the Jewish merchant or his son. On the
other hand it was impossible to assert that a Jew would pay
child-support for so long without good reason. Such generosity on
the part of a Jew would have been inconceivable for the
inhabitants of an Austrian village. Thus the Hitler family was
faced with the insoluble dilemma of devising a version that would
serve to nullify their "disgrace."
For Alois Hitler the suspicion that he might be of Jewish
descent was insufferable in the context of the anti-Jewish
environment in which he was raised. All the plaudits he earned
himself as a customs officer were insufficient to liberate him
from the latent rage at the disgrace and humiliation visited on
him through no fault of his own. The only thing he could do with
impunity was to take out this rage on his son Adolf. According to
the reports of his daughter of a former marriage, Angela, Alois
beat his son mercilessly every day. In an attempt to exorcise his
childhood fears, his son nurtured the manic delusion that it was
up to him to free not only himself of Jewish blood but also all
Germany and later the whole world. Right up to his death in the
bunker, Hitler remained a victim of this delusion because all his
life his fear of his half-Jewish father had remained locked in his
unconscious mind.
I have set out these ideas in greater detail in my book For
Your Own Good. One can find them highly unsettling and in no
way sufficient to explain Hitler's actions. Not all his actions, I
agree, but certainly his delusions. And those delusions were at
the very least the foundation of his actions, as all our
unconscious emotions can become. I can certainly picture the boy
Hitler swearing vengeance on "the Jews," those monstrous
fantasy-figures of an already diseased imagination. Consciously,
he probably thought he could have led a happy life if "the
Jew" had not plunged his grandmother into the disgrace that
he and his family had to live with. And it was this that in his
eyes served to excuse the beatings he received from his father,
who, after all, was himself "a victim of the evil and
omnipotent Jew." In the mind of an angry, seriously confused
child, it is only a short step from there to the idea that all
Jews should be exterminated.
Not only Jews. In the household of Hitler's family lived for
years the very unpredictable schizophrenic aunt Johanna whose
behavior is reported to have been very scary for the child. As an
adult Hitler ordered to be killed every handicapped and psychotic
person to free the German society from this burden. Germany seemed
for him to symbolize the innocent child who had to be saved.
Consequently, Hitler wanted to protect his nation from the dangers
he himself had faced. Absurd? Not at all. For an unconscious mind
this kind of symbolization might sound very normal and logical.
Besides those fears connected to father and aunt there was his
early relationship with his very intimidated mother, who herself
lived in constant fear of her husband's violent outbursts and
beatings. She called him "uncle Alois" and endured
patiently his humiliating treatment without any protest. Adolf's
mother had lost her first three children to illness and Adolf was
her first child to survive infancy. We can easily imagine that the
milk he drank from his mother was in a way "poisoned" by
her own fear. He drank her milk together with her fears but was of
course unable to understand or integrate them. These irrational
fears - that an outsider, watching his speeches on videos, can
easily recognize - stayed unrecognized and unconscious to Hitler
until the end of his life. Stored up in his body, they drove him
constantly to new destructive actions in his endless attempt to
find an outcome. To his dying day, Hitler was convinced that only
the death of every single Jew could shield him from the fearful
and daily memory of his brutal father.
In the absence of positive factors, affection and helping
witnesses, the only course open to the mistreated individual seems
to be the denial of personal suffering and the idealization of
cruelty with all its devastating after-effects. Undergoing an
exceedingly humiliating and cruel upbringing at the pre-verbal
stage without helping witnesses may instill into the victim
admiration of this cruelty if there is no one in the immediate
vicinity of the child to query those methods and stand up for
humane values.
Therefore it didn't surprise me that in the childhood of people
who later became dictators, I have always found a nightmarish
horror, a record of continued lies and humiliations, which, upon
the attainment of adulthood, impelled them to acts of merciless
revenge on society. These vengeful acts were always garbed in
hypocritical ideologies, purporting that the dictator's exclusive
and overriding wish was the happiness of his people. In this way,
he unconsciously emulated his own parents who, in earlier days,
had also insisted that their blows were inflicted on the child for
his own good.
In the lives of all the tyrants I analyzed, I also found
without exception paranoid trains of thought bound up with their
biographies in early childhood and the repression of the
experiences they had been through. Mao had been regularly whipped
by his father and later sent 30 million people to their deaths but
he hardly ever admitted the full extent of the rage he must have
felt for his own father, a very severe teacher who had tried
through beatings to "make a man" out of his son. Stalin
caused millions to suffer and die because even at the height of
his power his actions were determined by unconscious, infantile
fear of powerlessness. Apparently his father, a poor cobbler from
Georgia, attempted to drown his frustration with liquor and
whipped his son almost every day. His mother displayed psychotic
traits, was completely incapable of defending her son and was
usually away from home either praying in church or running the
priest's household. Stalin idealized his parents right up to the
end of his life and was constantly haunted by the fear of dangers,
dangers that had long since ceased to exist but were still present
in his deranged mind. His fear didn't even stop after he had been
loved and admired by millions.
The same might be true of many other tyrants. They often drew
on ideologies to disguise the truth and their own paranoia. And
the masses chimed in enthusiastically because they were unaware of
the real motives, including those in their own biographies. The
infantile revenge fantasies of individuals would be of no account
if society did not regularly show such naive eagerness in helping
to make them come true. Mad tyrants would not have any power if
society understood that it is their damaged brains which are
constantly driving them to avoid dangers that no longer exist.
Naturally, my references to Schreber and his methods are not
sufficient to explain the history of the Holocaust but they do
explain a lot. However, in no way should this explanation lead to
an exoneration of the perpetrators, relieving them of their
responsibility by declaring them "sick." No upbringing,
however cruel, is a license for murder. But blaming the whole
thing on a defective genetic blueprint doesn't make much sense
either. As I asked before: Why should there have been so many
people born in Germany thirty or forty years before the Holocaust
with such a fateful genetic disposition? I do not know of any gene
researcher who would try to answer this question. It is quite
absurd to assume that some people are born with the genetic
program to later become anti-Semites, racists, lynchers or
rapists. The almost total neglect or trivialization of the infancy
factor in the context of violence sometimes leads to explanations
that are not only unconvincing and abortive but which actively
deflect attention away from the genuine roots of violence.
Also, the existence of exceptions showed again and again that
propaganda and manipulation at school alone were not sufficient to
transform people into mass murderers. Only men and women who had
experienced mental and physical cruelty in the first weeks and
months of life and had been shown no love at all could possibly
have let themselves be made into Hitler's willing executioners. As
Goldhagen's archive material shows, they needed almost no
ideological indoctrination because their bodies knew exactly what
they wanted to do as soon as they were allowed to follow their
inclinations. And as the Jews, young or old, had been declared
non-persons, there was nothing to stop them indulging those
inclinations. But no amount of indoctrination alone, at school or
wherever, will unleash hatred in a person who has no preconditions
in that direction. It is well known that there were also Germans,
like Karl Jaspers, Hermann Hesse and Thomas Mann, who immediately
recognized the declaration that Jews were non-persons as an alarm
signal and the rallying cry of untrammeled barbarism.
Doubtless there are people who grew up with loving and
protecting parents who could later find a kind, sympathetic
partner, could organize their life and become good parents, even
if they had to go through the horror of a concentration camp
during their adolescence. On the other hand, the lives of many
were broken, even without catastrophic experiences in their later
life. They just couldn't find the way to liberate themselves from
their old fears, never identified as such. From many cases of
survivors I learned that it was the quality of their infancy that
determined the way they overcame later threats, including the
Holocaust.
Adults who grew up without helping witnesses need the support
and assistance of enlightened witnesses, of people who are well
aware of the dynamics of child abuse, people who can help them to
take their feelings seriously, understand them and integrate them,
as part of their own story. In an informed society, adolescents
will have the luck to talk to others about their early
experiences. They will be able to verbalize their truth and to
discover themselves in their own story, their own tragedy, without
avenging themselves violently for their wounds, or to poison their
systems with drugs.
I have wrongly been attributed to the thesis according to which
every victim inevitably becomes a persecutor, a thesis that I find
totally false, indeed absurd. To say that every cow is an animal
doesn't include the statement that every animal is a cow. It has
been proved that many adults have had the good fortune to break
the cycle of abuse. Yet I can certainly aver that I have never
come across persecutors who weren't themselves victims in their
childhood, though most of them don't know it because their
feelings are repressed. The less these criminals know about
themselves, the more dangerous they are to society. So I think it
is crucial to grasp the difference between the statement,
"every victim becomes a persecutor," which is wrong, and
the statement, "every persecutor was a victim in his
childhood," which I consider true. The problem is that,
feeling nothing, he remembers nothing, realizes nothing, and this
is why surveys don't always reveal the truth. Yet the presence of
a warm, enlightened witness ... therapist, social worker, lawyer,
judge ... can help the criminal unlock his repressed feelings and
restore the unrestricted flow of consciousness. This can initiate
the process of escape from the vicious circle of amnesia and
violence.
Working toward a better future cannot be done without
legislation that clearly forbids corporal punishment toward
children and makes society aware of the fact that children are
people too. The whole society and its legal system can then play
the role of a reliable, enlightened and protecting witness for
children at risk, children of adolescent, drug addicted criminals
who may themselves become predators without such assistance. The
only reason why a parent might smack his children is the parent's
own history. All other so-called reasons, such as poverty and
unemployment, are pure mystification. There are unemployed parents
who don't spank their children and there are many wealthy parents
who maltreat their children in the most cruel way and teach them
to minimize the terror by calling it the right education. With a
law prohibiting corporal punishment towards children, people of
the next generation will not have recorded the highly misleading
information in their brain, an almost irreversible damage. They
will be able to have empathy with a child and understand what has
been done to children over millennia. It is a realistic hope to
think that then (and only then) the human mind and behavior will
change. With a law that forbids spanking every citizen becomes an
enlightened witness.