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This very unique and helpful website is
maintained by Philippines pediatrician Rhodora Damaso
Diaz.
Challenged by one of her child patients
who expressed continued rebellion, negativism and hostility, and
whose mother had resented the pregnancy, Dr. Diaz suggested that
the mother talk to her son while he was sleeping, preferably
during REM time.
Dr. Diaz then made similar suggestions to a second mother.
When she received highly positive feedback from the first two
mothers, she began to give the same suggestion to others. Now
she recommends this technique for helping any child with
puzzling or persistent problems. Her inspiring website offers
many encouraging stories and letters from parents who have used
this approach with great success. Dr. Diaz is currently
collecting stories for a forthcoming book on the subject.
The Sleep Talking script consists of four parts:
- Statement of love
- Statement of the problem
- Proposal for a solution
- Statement of love (closing statement)
Dr. Diaz suggests limiting the Sleep Talk session to 5 or 10
minutes. She recently gave this elaboration of the technique:
"As an example, I would have a mother
tell her daughter, as part of number 1, that she is much loved
by both parents and by the rest of her family. The mother
should include such things as her pleasure upon seeing the
baby for the first time, special things the child did as a
baby or when she was growing up and how proud her parents have
been of her. She can modify this and talk of other things
during the next 'sessions'.
"For the second portion, I usually have
them start with 'I have been worried about your recent change
in behavior...' or 'I don't know why you are more fearful, or
angry, or moody...'. The parent can say things like, 'We feel
such pain when we see you like this, or people are upset to
see you doing that'. Details can be supplied by them.
"The third part should include the
parent's explanation or understanding of why this behavior is
manifesting. She can explain any current difficulties in the
home or within the marriage: 'We know you are worried because
of the problem your father and I have. We are sorry, but
please understand that people do have problems they may not
solve right away, so they fight and they create heartaches for
everyone. This is our problem and we are working on it.
Whatever happens, our love for you will not change, and we
will try to make it easier for you. We are not perfect and we
are learning from this. We are sorry that this is happening.'
The parent may even explain some of the details, emphasizing
that there is always a solution.
"Occasionally, I have the mother
encourage an older child to 'tell Mom how you feel,'
especially if the child is not willing to talk about it when
awake. Of course, there can be many variations in this
portion, and sometimes the mother will find herself crying.
That's okay, too.
"The final part is just a repetition of
loving thoughts and the parent's reiteration of her commitment
to helping her child grow up healthy and aware."
Visit this fascinating website to learn more about this
gentle, compassionate and useful technique.
whilechildrensleep.homestead.com |
