Share your tips for compassionate parenting! What has worked well for you
in a challenging situation? What would you like to recommend to other
parents? Please send us a short message with
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When you want your child to do something, ask or
suggest politely rather than demanding impatiently. Ideally, do it with
him/her. ("Okay, let's put your books up now. You take those and I'll
take these," rather than, "Get those books off the floor now or
I'm taking them away from you.") I've been doing this more and more
and it works much better than I expected.
My son loves firefighters and after seeing the fire station and a
video about firefighters, I had a brilliant idea: He always gave me a hard
time when getting into his car seat / highchair. Now I pretend it's a fire
engine and call it a "jump-seat". He will jump right in! He will
even help with the straps! My daughter (1.5 years) loves this game too and
will follow right along.
Pajamas can be the "fire protector suit", socks can be
"firefighter boots", and coats are "firefighter
jackets". Things go much faster around here!
New Jersey, USA
Just say yes
When my child is wanting to do or explore something,
I make my automatic response a yes. That way, I'm "forced" to find a way to help her
rather than squash her learning.
Attitude is everything
Sleepless nights are a lot easier to deal
with if you are prepared for them. My son had slept long periods at night
without any sleep training from the age of 12 weeks until he was 6 months.
When he started waking again it came as a bit of a shock. If he'd been
sleeping through surely he would again right? I spent the next three
months stressed and tired because I was still of the opinion that he
should be sleeping through. Eventually I changed my attitude and just
learned to accept that responding to him waking through the night was part
of my role as his parent. He didn't sleep any better after that but I did!
A child is a person
Think of your child as a person first, rather than as your child. How
would you interact with a friend? How would you want someone to interact
When my 10 and 8 year old were
toddlers, I would always put them in the shopping cart and we would first
head over to the floral department to touch the balloons. We never
bought a balloon, but they knew each time we came, they would have the
opportunity to see the new balloons and touch any that were out. Next we
headed over to the aisle with children's books and toys. I let each
child pick out one thing to play with in the store. We talked about
how we are borrowing the toy and need to be very careful – they always
were. Then we would start shopping. When we were finished
shopping, we would return to the toy/book aisle and say
"good-bye" to the toys or books. There was never any
screaming or demands to buy the toys because they knew the next time we
were shopping; they would have the chance to pick out another toy to
borrow. I rarely had problems taking my children shopping. I
think they felt that I respected their need to "shop" and it was
a fun event.