Information for Parents
by Alice Miller
"Wise" old King Solomon wrote, "He who does not beat
his son does not love him". And for thousands of years, children
have been beaten because their parents were convinced that this was the
right way for them to become responsible adults.
In the past few years, however, we have learned that these parents
were wrong and that physical punishment, however slight, produces only
negative results. Though short-term obedience may come of it, the child
will, over the long term, become aggressive, violent, suicidal,
physically sick, or subject to psychic disorders, unless an enlightened
witness comes to his rescue and prevents this cycle of events. A wide
range of research results are today available that demonstrate this
link. (It is worth noting that King Solomon's son, Rehoboam, became an
oppressive dictator who narrowly escaped being stoned to death for his
cruelty.)
There is no such thing as a harmless slap or spanking. Both are forms
of physical violence that involve humiliation and abuse of power. They
damage the healthy self-esteem of a child and disregard their right to
dignity. For this reason, it will hopefully soon be illegal to beat a
child, at least in over one hundred countries that have signed the U.N.
Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Many people have trouble understanding this. In that they themselves
were beaten as children, they believe that physical punishment is very
normal and useful. Our parents believed the same thing, because they
were brought up that way as well, and could not know the later
consequences of their acts. Many did so because they thought it was
right and because it was the only way they knew. Today's parents,
however, must be clearly informed of the recent discoveries so that they
do not continue simply out of ignorance.
Anyone driving a car must know the rules of the road, otherwise they
may inadvertently hurt or even kill other people. It is crucial that
parents know that, for example, shaking a baby can cause irreversible
brain damage. To avoid child mistreatment due to a lack of awareness,
parents will receive this information sheet. Many parents have the best
intentions and really want to love their children, but are inhibited by
their own upbringing. They have the right to be informed before it is
too late.